


my child (my chosen)

by killerqueenwrites (KillainsTales)



Series: this kid (my kid) [2]
Category: Iron Man (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, Spider-Man: Homecoming (2017), The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Endgame Speculation, Fluffy Ending, Gen, Light Angst, No Spoilers, Peter Parker Needs a Hug, Post-Avengers: Infinity War Part 1 (Movie), Tony Stark Acting as Peter Parker's Parental Figure, Tony Stark Has A Heart, and i'm all out, i have like two (2) ideas for how they're going to fix things, tony needs to explain some things to his spiderson
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-24
Updated: 2019-04-24
Packaged: 2020-01-31 09:22:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,292
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18588355
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KillainsTales/pseuds/killerqueenwrites
Summary: “You were going to do what?”Tony never prepared for this conversation because he never planned on having it.Or the fight may be over and Thanos may be dead, but Tony didn't tell Peter exactly how they won.





	my child (my chosen)

**Author's Note:**

> hey! this is a follow-on to 'i will restore' so i would recommend reading that first to get the full angsty story. if not, all you need to know for this is that when tony went to get the soul stone, red skull told him that a sacrifice had already been made in the form of peter. obviously, tony freaked and offered to switch places before finding out that he'd get peter back.
> 
> thank you all so much for all your love on 'i will restore'. i'm glad you all enjoyed it so much, and i hope you like this too! the title is, once again, from family tree by matthew west.

“You were going to do _what_?”

 

Tony jumps and has to take a second to collect himself, because the Peter Parker who fell asleep on his shoulder during _Star Wars_ last night and had to be carried to bed is very different to the Peter Parker standing in front of his desk at far too late at night, practically quivering with rage.

 

“Excellent question. What was I going to do?”

 

“You…!” Peter gesticulates for a moment. “You were going to give yourself up for the Soul Stone? Are you fucking stupid?”

 

Peter Parker almost never swears, and never directly at Tony.

 

“No, I-“

 

“Yes, you were!” There’s such furious certainty that Tony can’t even begin to argue with him.

 

Okay. _Shit_. “Is this why you’ve been avoiding me all day?”

 

All he gets is a scoff.

 

“Come on. I haven’t seen you since last night. It’s nearly half eleven now. Who told you?”

 

Peter folds his arms and takes a step back; the distance physically hurts. “Why does that matter?”

 

 _Because I’ve been hoping we’d never have to have this conversation, and I’m more than happy to put it off a little longer. Because you were never supposed to know._ “Come on, tell me. Or I’ll find out. Process of elimination. Nebula and Carol are galaxy-hopping again, so that leaves Pepper and Cap. Oh, and Strange, because that bastard knows everything.”

 

“Stop dodging the question.” This kid knows him too well.

 

“Peter, it doesn’t matter, okay? It’s over-“

 

“That’s not the point.” He’s never seen Peter so angry; the kid is absolutely livid, and it’s cutting Tony to the bone. “Harley said Pepper was so upset-“

 

“So it was Harley?”

 

Peter’s mouth snaps shut.

 

Tony sighs, massaging the bridge of his nose. “Okay. What did he tell you?”

 

“He said you got the Stone by offering to give yourself up for it and that you…” For the first time, Peter’s resolve seems to falter. “You were scared you’d lost me forever because you almost couldn’t get the Stone, or something.”

 

Tony winces; the memory of that awful terror is still too near, too real. “And how did he hear that?”

 

“He overheard Captain Rogers tell Pepper what you said to get the Stone and then he listened to Pepper yelling at you.”

 

“Right. Of course he did.” Tony can feel a stress headache blooming: he’s tired because Pepper wakes up at the crack of dawn every morning to throw up into whatever’s nearest; he’s worried about the prospect of returning the Stones the Avengers had taken back to the past; the problem of disposing with the original set of Stones is ever-present; and now he has to field this game of Chinese whispers. “Ever consider that he didn’t hear the whole story?”

 

Peter’s expression doesn’t change, but he at least unfolds his arms. “Which is?”

 

 _Jesus_. This was supposed to be a secret. Tony never prepared for this conversation because he never planned on having it. “Getting the Stone wasn’t the issue. We went – me, Nebula, and Captains to the power of two – ready to fight our way through, because we weren’t planning on losing anyone else, but…yeah, getting the Soul Stone wasn’t the problem.”

 

“So what was?” Peter says quietly.

 

“The Stone had a – a gatekeeper. He told us we wouldn’t have to fight, that the Stone wanted to help us.” He can’t help his grin at Peter’s face. “Mad, I know. It’s a rock, but apparently it’s sentient. Anyway, it had decided that…Thanos and I were equals. Equals and opposites, the guy said. The Stone would only come to me and work for me because I was a counterpoint, or whatever.”

 

“Still not seeing the problem, Mr Stark.”

 

“The problem…” Tony blinks and the stormy sky of Vormir flashes behind his eyelids. “The problem was how Thanos acquired the Stone.”

 

“He killed the other Peter’s girlfriend, right? Gamora?”

 

“Right. He had to lose something he loved, and his sacrifice was his daughter. So the Stone saw me and decided that I…had already made the same sacrifice.”

 

Peter frowns. “What sacrifice?”

 

“His kid, Peter. I’d already lost my kid.”

 

There’s a beat of silence. “Wait – me?”

 

“Yeah.” Tony clears his throat. “Yeah, you were the sacrifice. Jesus, I never wanted you to find this out. The guy said I’d already lost you, and it – well, it sounded pretty permanent. I thought even if we managed to reverse the Snap, you still wouldn’t come back, and I…honestly don’t think I’ve ever been that terrified. It’s up there, at least.”

 

Peter looks down. “So…what happened? I’m here, aren’t I? And so are you. That doesn’t sound like you offered to sacrifice yourself to get the Stone.”

 

“No, because I didn’t.” Tony inhales. “I did, however, offer to give myself up to get you back.”

 

 _“What!?”_ If Peter was angry before, it’s nothing compared to now. “What the _fuck_ , Mr Stark?”

 

“Watch your language.” Tony is trying so, so hard not to snap, but this conversation is really testing him. “You weren’t there, Peter. You don’t know what happened; you’re just relying on Harley being nosey.”

 

“Oh my God.” Peter takes another step back, half-stumbling like Tony’s pushed him. “Oh my God, this is what Doctor Strange meant. He said you got to have me back, but Thanos had to lose his daughter.”

 

“…yeah.”

 

“Why would you do that?” As quickly as it had come, the rage is melting away, and Peter looks shaky without it. “And why wouldn’t you tell me? This is about me; I have a right to know, Mr Stark.”

 

“Because I knew you’d react like this.”

 

“Well, _duh_. You already had the Soul Stone. You could’ve saved everyone.”

 

“Not everyone,” Tony says quietly, “and I didn’t have the Stone yet. It only came after I offered to trade places with you.”

 

“Why?”

 

“Apparently, sacrificing yourself for your kid is a good alternative to sacrificing your kid for yourself. Turns out that was the final piece of the puzzle.” Tony doesn’t mention the way he’d felt so utterly stripped bare on that mountaintop, so taken apart and observed, like an experiment. “I got the Stone, and the weird guy told me you’d come back with everyone else. Panic over.”

 

Peter shakes his head, starting to pace around the office. “Not the point. You didn’t know it would work out like that.”

 

“No, I didn’t.”

 

“So why the hell-?”

 

“Come sit down, kid.” Tony gets out of his desk chair and settles down on the couch in the corner.

 

His response must throw Peter off, because he stops pacing and stares.

 

“No, seriously. This is gonna involve a lot of emotions and I’m not doing it on an ergonomic chair with you glaring down at me. Come on.”

 

Peter does, his gaze never leaving Tony’s face. “Just so you know, my current emotion is very mad.”

 

Tony laughs in spite of himself. “Okay, that’s fair. So was Pepper.”

 

“Good, because you’re an idiot.”

 

“Okay. All right, um…Pete, listen, okay? I thought you were gone, and then there was a way to get you back, and then and then and then…I really thought I’d reached a point where I’d lost you. For good. No take-backs. And that was…unacceptable, okay? It was like the universe was going ‘yeah, I’ve screwed with you enough, but right when you think you finally have everything you want, I’m going to fuck you over one last time’.”

 

“But-“

 

“Nuh-uh. Not finished. You think I was just going to go ‘oh, okay, no problem. I’ll just go home with a giant piece of my family missing’?”

 

“Mr Stark-“

 

“It wasn’t even a question, understand? I just had to do it.”

 

“So you think I could come back and not mind that you were gone?”

 

“You have a whole life to live, kid. You have May, people who love you-“

 

“So do you!” Peter cries. “And I’ve lost so many people, Mr Stark. I don’t want to go through that again.”

 

“I know, kid.” Tony sighs. “Look, this isn’t just about me, is it? Is there something else going on?”

 

Silence.

 

“Okay, I know you and your aunt don’t like talking about this, but I know a little bit about what happened to your uncle.”

 

Peter stiffens. “This isn’t about him-“

 

“I know he died protecting you.”

 

“So you know it was my fault?” Peter snaps.

 

“It absolutely was _not_.” Of course. Peter’s not just worried that he might have lost Tony; he thinks he would have been the reason behind it.

 

They’re too alike. Pepper often says it with a fond smile quirking her lips, but apparently that means not only the good traits, but the dangerously self-destructive ones too.

 

“I had my powers then. I could’ve taken the shot and survived, but he pushed me out of the way-“

 

“I never understood the adrenaline rush parents talk about,” Tony says. “You know, the kind that makes people lift cars off their kids or get across the park in two seconds flat. The kind that makes you do anything to protect your child, no matter what happens to you. Never understood it, never understood the science, but I get it now.”

 

“Mr Stark…” Peter says again, his voice barely more than a whisper.

 

“I get it, and your uncle did, too.”

 

“Please don’t say that.” With each shaky breath, Peter is clenching his fingers in the hem of his T-shirt. “I can’t lose you as well. Especially not because of me.”

 

“Peter, it will never be your fault. _Never_. Understand?” Tony frowns when Peter doesn’t respond. “Come here, kid.”

 

Still nothing. Peter stares at the floor, stiff and unrelenting.

 

“Peter, you’re my kid, and you always will be. I can’t help that my first instinct is to protect you, not that I want to do anything about it. It’s a reflex, yeah? Just – it’s second nature, and I didn’t even notice it becoming that. Sure, you can be angry, because this thing with the Soul Stone could’ve turned out horribly, but it didn’t. We’re here now, okay? Both of us – we’re fine. No need to worry about what almost happened or what might have gone wrong. I didn’t lose you in some bullshit cosmic ritual, you still have me. It’s okay.”

 

There’s a long sigh before Peter drops his forehead to rest on Tony’s shoulder. Slowly, he starts to relax, shifting further along the couch, until he’s leaning against Tony’s side.

 

“This whole thing sucked,” Peter mumbles into Tony’s arm.

 

Oh, to be a teenager. “Sure did. It sucked ass, but it turned out all right in the end.”

 

With a murmur of agreement, Peter turns and leans against Tony, seeking comfort almost on instinct. Tony’s only too happy to give it to him.

 

Before all this happened, he could count the number of times he’d hugged his kid on one hand, but now…

 

Losing something, _someone_ , makes you realise how precious they are.

 

Any awkwardness Peter might have once had is gone, and Tony has almost never been more grateful for anything; when he feels comfortable with someone, Peter Parker is a hugger.

 

“You know,” he whispers, “the Stone got one thing right.”

 

“Mm?” Peter sounds like he’s falling asleep.

 

“You’re my kid and I love you.”

 

“I know.” It’s almost like it was in the common area a few weeks ago: Peter, voice cottony with sleep and muffled by a T-shirt, murmuring the words that never fail to give Tony a double shot of surprise, self-doubt, fondness and fierce, brilliant love. “I love you, too.”

 

What did Tony ever do to deserve Peter? Afghanistan, Obie, Vanko, Hammer, Killian, Ultron, Toomes, even Steve – he’d created all those problems, deserved all the consequences, but Rhodey, Pepper, Happy and Peter got dragged into the firing line as well. He always thought it was the universe’s way of telling him he wasn’t allowed anything good.

 

Not anymore. He has his friends, his family, another kid on the way, another chance to break more than one painful cycle.

 

Peter lets out a long, slow breath. “Sorry I cussed at you.”

 

“Hm, I’ll let it slide this one time.”

 

“Really?”

 

“Yeah, I’m not the language police. God, imagine that.” Tony snorts. “I’d be Steve Rogers.”

 

“I’ve studied the Second World War, Mr Stark. Every second word soldiers said was a swear word.”

 

“Oh, okay, and what are you? The history police?” That gets Tony a snort. _Mission accomplished_. “Better?”

 

“Yeah, s’long as you don’t do anything that stupid again.”

 

Tony runs his fingers through Peter's hair. “Promise, if you stop listening to Harley’s gossip.”

 

“Is it gossip if it’s true?”

 

“Clearly there was no small amount of misinformation being communicated. You’re both setting a bad example for your baby sibling. Never should’ve introduced you two; you’ll either save the world or end it.”

 

Peter shrugs, knocking his shoulder into Tony’s. “He’s going back to Tennessee soon. We’ll have to conspire across the country.”

 

“Well, that’s terrifying.” Tony glances back at his desk, the Starkpad open and waiting. “Come on, Underoos, got anything you want to do? I think you missed the end of _Star Wars_ last night.”

 

“You don’t have to watch it with me again. I’ve seen them all, like, a hundred times.”

 

“Well, I’d rather watch Carrie Fisher being badass than deal with work emails. Up, let’s go.”

 

“No,” Peter groans when Tony starts to stand, clinging to his shirt. “We just got comfy – Mr Stark!”

 

“I’m not carrying you. Once every twenty-four hours is my limit.”

 

He ends up carrying the kid to the living room anyway. They don’t make it through _Star Wars_ , but then again, Tony doesn't expect to.

**Author's Note:**

> i have turned on comment moderation here for a while, just because i don't want anyone to accidentally comment an endgame spoiler (i'm seeing it tomorrow, but i know some of you won't get to see it until friday at the earliest). that being said, please PLEASE do not spoil it for me either, including your reactions; i've managed to avoid it so well up to this point, especially because i had infinity war spoiled last year.
> 
> i'm nervous as hell, but let's hope endgame is everything we've been waiting for, and i'll see you on the other side.
> 
> UPDATE: i’ve now seen endgame, but i’m still going to ask you to keep spoilers out of the comments. if you want to talk about it, i am on tumblr @akillerqueenwrites or my main blog @akillerqueenyouare, where i can make sure everything is properly tagged.


End file.
